The Art of Forgiveness

I have been analyzing how I pray. I feel like I have been too "me" focused in my prayers, and I think that leads to a very narrow view of the power of God through prayer. One thing I noticed is when I pray, I always ask for forgiveness for each and every sin I confess. This is right and good, but the "why" of me doing this was flipped on its head, I think.

You see, Jesus died on the cross and paid for my sins (and yours, even if you don't believe it). The debt is paid, I am forgiven before the sin. I think I forget too often that I'm forgiven and find myself living in the shadow and guilt of my sins, rather than rejoicing at the grace of forgiveness I've been given.

I'm not at all saying we don't need to ask for forgiveness for our sins. We do, but I found myself asking for forgiveness as if the forgiveness itself was contingent on me asking for it right then. It's a hard thought to explain. I guess I feel like I need to keep the knowledge that I'm already forgiven in the front of my mind, and ask God to help me stop abusing this awesome grace of forgiveness.

I thought of an analogy that sort of works. The way I have been asking for forgiveness is kind of like me asking someone else if I can have my own shirt. I already have my shirt. The other person can't give my shirt, because it's already mine. It's silly. Rather, I should recognize and acknowledge that I've mistreated the shirt I've been given. I've rolled around in the mud and maybe got a mustard stain on it. I need to confess that I've mistreated my shirt, throw it in the washing machine, then ask for help to keep it clean going forward.

That may not make any sense to anyone else, but it was a pretty profound thought to me. So take from it what you will.