Sometime in prayer, fessing up to your sins with God can be difficult. Not the sugar coated confession, but the call-it-out-for-what-it-is confession, where spades are spades and the gritty dirty details are painstakingly pried out. Granted, He already knows the details but I think we need to give it up ourselves.
Have you ever been honest enough with God to not only admit you have sinned, but tell Him you plan on doing it again? I have. I don't know if it was a plea for help or what, but I do know that if you want to grow closer to God, you have to give Him everything. I have to assume that everything includes even telling Him I plan on defying Him because I suck and that I hate even having that notion stir in my heart. If there was ever a time when I felt the lightning was going to strike me down, it was then.
If I want to grow in a relationship with God, I can't keep any of me to myself. This isn't exactly the problem. I offer myself to God asking to take all of me and mold me and use me. After about a minute (sometimes as much as an hour!) I snatch myself back so I can go sin some more.
I am an Indian Giver of me.
There is no good thing in me apart from God. Not a single thing.
It is an understatement to say God's grace astounds me. No lightning, just love and forgiveness. And I just don't understand it.
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