Focus... draining... must... HEY! Look at THAT!

When I stopped taking my ADHD medication last year, I freaked out because I thought I'd never get anything done ever again. That was true for a while. I would start a gazillions of projects and never finish any of them (a problem I still struggle with). However, I got very lucky and found a job that in a sense, is tailored to my ADHD. Instead of sitting in the same office all day, every day, doing the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over, I get to leave the office usually multiple times per day, visiting my clients, fixing problems, making things better, telling people what I think, giving advice, you know, "consulting." Then I get to go somewhere else and do the same thing, but completely different. My brain gets to switch gears, tackle new problems, develop new solutions for different needs. This is great for someone with pretty sever ADHD. I get constant stimulation in normally short bursts, which is perfectly suited to my spastic focusing abilities.

It's not all happy clouds and fluff and rainbows. Some days, my disorder likes to grab me by the face, smack me around and make me pay attention to it (that's a funny statement if you really think about it). Last night, for instance, I could not formulate a complete sentence. It was like all of my thoughts tried to come out at once but no one thought would let any other thought come to fruition. It was a bottleneck gridlock of thoughts. If you spoke to me last night, I probably sounded something like this:

"So, let's go ahead and... We should start by... I'd really like this song to start... ARG! I can't complete a freakin'... must... formulate... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!."

I also just took a break from writing this to access a DHCP server and dance around to a Black Eyed Peas Song.

In conclusion, some days (like today), I am at the mercy of my ADHD, and my ADHD is ruthless today.

I realize there was no point whatsoever to this post. Please forgive me and don't stop reading. My blog, that is.

m